第87章(2/2)

章苘走到围栏边。铁栏杆冰冷刺骨,上面的积雪尚未融化。她抬头看了看,然后伸手,抓住栏杆,开始向上爬。她的动作并不灵活,甚至有些笨拙,长期的药物作用和虚弱让她的肌肉乏力。但她一点一点,艰难地向上挪动。

套房的门锁是特殊的,从里面无法完全锁死,但从外面打开需要密码或钥匙——这是安全措施。夜间值班的护士每两小时会巡房一次,透过门上的观察窗查看情况。

p; 湖水层层漫过耳畔,将所有声响彻底隔绝:陈槿的命令,江熙的呼唤,孩子的哭声,母亲的叹息。世界终于安静了。绿色温柔的包裹着她,像跌回了最原始的起源,温暖、安全、是灵魂终得归处的踏实。

午夜时分,万籁俱寂。雪停了,月光照在厚厚的积雪上,反射出幽蓝的光。整个疗养院陷入沉睡,只有走廊尽头值班台亮着一盏小灯,值班护士因连日的疲惫,正撑着头打瞌睡。

她走到那扇门前,伸手推了推——门动了。果然没有锁死。

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月光透过走廊尽头的高窗照进来,在地板上投下菱形的光斑。章苘的影子被拉得很长,很瘦,像个幽灵。

她知道疗养院的布局。这几个月的疗养,她默默记下了每条走廊的走向,每个出口的位置,甚至值班人员的换班规律。求生或许需要智慧,但求死,有时也需要精密的计算。

脚下是厚厚的积雪,瞬间没过了脚踝。冰冷的雪灌进单薄的拖鞋,冻得她脚趾刺痛。她没有停,深一脚浅一脚地,朝着一个方向走去。

一个寒冷的冬夜,阿尔卑斯山区降下了今年最大的一场雪。

疗养院建在山麓,背后是一片稀疏的松林,松林深处,有一个不大的高山湖泊。夏天时,湖水是清澈的蓝绿色,曾有患者在医护陪同下在湖边散步。现在,湖面应该已经结了冰,覆盖着白雪。

终于,她翻过了围栏,落在了外面的雪地上。

章苘在黑暗中睁着眼睛。

门外是一个小小的后院,堆放着一些杂物和清洁工具,再往外,就是疗养院的铁艺围栏。围栏不高,只有一人多高,上面没有电网,因为这家疗养院的核心安保在于内部的监控与看护,而非将患者当作囚犯。

手指冻得发麻,几乎失去知觉。病号服被栏杆上的冰碴浸湿,贴在皮肤上,寒意刺骨。她喘着气,呼出的白雾在月光下迅速消散。

章苘轻轻地坐起身。她没有开灯,借着窗外雪地反射的微光,极其缓慢地挪到床边,穿上拖鞋。她的动作很轻。

她没有开灯,只是静静地躺着,听着自己的呼吸声,和远处隐约传来的风声。时间一点一点流逝,像沙漏里缓缓落下的沙。

她拉开一条门缝,侧身闪了出去。走廊空无一人,只有安全指示灯散发着幽绿的光。她的拖鞋踩在厚厚的地毯上,没有发出声音。

一股带着雪后清新凛冽气息的风从门缝钻进来,吹起她单薄的病号服衣角。她打了个寒颤,却没有犹豫,侧身挤了出去。

每次从这个梦境中半醒,章苘都会躺在床上,久久不动。窗外的雪山在月光下泛着清冷的光。她盯着天花板,脑中反复回响着梦中的那句话:“或许这样也好。”

疗养院的暖气供应充足,但章苘却觉得冷,一种从骨头缝里渗出来的冷。晚餐她只吃了几口,便说累了想休息。护士检查了她的生命体征,一切平稳,便为她调暗了灯光,轻声嘱咐后离开了。

护士们私下议论,说她“安静得让人害怕”。

凌晨三点,是人最疲惫、警惕性最低的时刻。

现实中的疗愈进展缓慢。医生调整了药物,加强了心理疏导,但章苘像个密封的蚌,越来越紧地闭合着自己的世界。她配合治疗,按时吃药,参加活动,但眼神越来越空,像是灵魂已经提前离开了这具躯壳。

她走到门边,握住门把手,轻轻下压——门锁发出轻微的“咔哒”声,开了。这道门的设计本就是为了防止患者将自己反锁在内发生意外,而非防止患者出去,外出的警报连接在走廊出口和外围。

陈槿来看她的次数也少了。不是不关心,而是一种无力与烦躁交织的逃避。每次看到章苘那双空洞的眼睛,她都感到一种挫败感。

她避开主走廊,选择了一条通往后勤区域的侧廊。那里有一扇不起眼的员工通道门,偶尔会因运送物资而暂时打开,门锁相对简单。前几天,她偶然听到护士聊天,说那扇门的电子锁有些故障,有时关不严。

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