病弱万人迷艰难端水中 第161(2/2)

“……”

“所以……”

莲月尊走进,抬手轻抚面前人的脸颊。

声音轻柔,却近乎绝情。

他站在一步之遥看着面前人,终于意识到这颗血肉之心也同曾经那颗礁石之心一样,任由他怎样诱哄哀求,都不可挽留。

“又或者,如你所说的,既然爱我,就成全我。”

指尖渐渐向下,向面前人的胸膛抚去。

“那时的我总是想,或许阿拂的心是海边礁石做的。被海水和海风侵蚀得千疮百孔,所以无论灌进去多少爱,都会顺着空洞流走,一滴不剩。”

“你要去爱别人,用这颗因我而复活的心脏么……阿拂?”

他小心翼翼地捧着那滴泪,想要送出,又害怕拒绝,“拥有它,我们就能回到从前。”

仿佛每说一个字都会变得更加虚弱一分。

如何能不争!

贺拂耽轻声问,“我的确已经学会了爱,是么?”

莲月尊悲声喃喃,形销骨立。

“若你不愿意,也可以再杀我一次。”

良久,莲月尊松手,退后。

然而现在,那里是温热的、鲜活的血肉。

多么离奇滑稽的命运,仿佛天道的嘲讽。

“可我想去未来。”贺拂耽没有动作,“第二个选择呢?”

这样的话贺拂耽曾无数次在明河与师尊的嘴里听闻,听他们用这样的词汇互相指控,自己心中却只有一片徒劳的、本能的悲伤。

因为得知真相,血肉就化为傀儡;也因为得知真相,泥土就变作血肉。

“我绝不反抗。”

“筹谋数年,历尽千辛万苦,终于等到阿拂复活……”

而这让泥土变成血肉的真相,恰恰是被他这个全天下最不愿意相信的人亲口证实。

他伸出手,掌心中躺着一颗明珠,泪滴的形状,晶莹剔透。

“既然阿拂给了我两个选择……我也给阿拂两个吧。”

“三万年……我用三万年时间,让海水将我的神魂冲刷成碎片,好从封印缝隙中逃离。阿拂心疼独孤明河被剥皮取骨两次,可这凌迟一样的痛苦,我受了三万个日夜。”

偏心。

因为学会爱,所以有了心——

“就像在归墟崖边,再一次杀死这颗为旁人跳动的心。”

“阿拂却要告诉我,你爱上了别人吗?”

莲月尊感受着掌心下那团温热血肉的跳动,再开口时声音哽咽凄怆。

“善魂轮回,恶魂转世,唯有我记忆不灭。九千年潜伏于十八地狱,终于将十殿阎罗一一除去,让幽冥界成为独属于我的莲月空。带着地府穿过界壁时,那些虚无之力,归墟之水的源头,能将一切消弭,能让神明也恐惧不已……但只要想到阿拂,我便什么也不怕了。”

如何能不恨?

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但现在,胸膛里泥塑的心脏却在不寻常地跳动。

如此美丽、圣洁,和千万年前如出一辙,依然像初见时那般让他心动不已。

“之后,又是数不尽的轮回、如此漫长的等待。用善魂做祭品,将六界困在同一轮回,也困住我自己。六界众生,只有我有这漫长轮回的所有记忆,每一天都是重复的过去,每一天都如此煎熬。”

“这是阿拂从前的记忆。阿拂不要,因此在归墟碎了满地。我都拼好了。”

“若我不爱你,万年前神族怎么会因为一支乐曲而思凡下界?我的爱能打动数万年恪守神职的众神,能把深海中灵智未开的怪物感化成最美丽的鲛人,唯独不能吸引你。”

这不属于任何一种本能。

偏爱。

不因为受伤而痛苦,不因为食物而欢欣,在独处时人声鼎沸,在喧嚣时当众孤独。一份爱没有实体,只在爱人的眼睛里涌现,就是这样虚幻的存在,却可以跨越千山万水千年万岁,让遥远的一颗心与之共鸣。

“……是我复活了你啊,阿拂。”

莲月尊声音轻颤,“你不能这样偏心,阿拂……你要为了他们,对我的爱视而不见吗?”

冷淡无情的声音终于稍带上些朋友间的温软,贺拂耽轻声请求,“尊者,六界已经被你困在同一个轮回这样久……放他们去未来吧。”

“……”

贺拂耽却只是静静地看着他:

能让木头做的心在归墟崖边收回即将跃下的脚,让泥巴做的心在莲花城中清醒着不肯沉溺幻梦。

前世那里停驻着一颗海边礁石铸成的心脏,礁石锋利,将前来索爱的人割得鲜血淋漓。

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