第86章(2/2)

丹尼斯表情痛苦地说道:“为什么我要有这样的父亲,为什么我总是要经历这种糟糕的事情。”

真是荒诞。

忘了那天丹尼斯那天是怎么离开的了,他那天发了高烧,不清楚是怎么睡过去的,醒来只记得那天丹尼斯跟他说了分手。

求爱莫斯科“丹尼斯,我讨厌你。”……

“嘉愿,你不要这样。”

眼泪模糊了丹尼斯的模样,张嘉愿觉得面前这个叫丹尼斯的男人好是陌生,丹尼斯明明说过爱他,面前这个说要跟他分手的男人又是谁?

睡前隐约感觉有人在他面前走动,他醒来时已经退了烧,床边放了一杯水,而丹尼斯不知所踪。

“德尼亚,我现在真的怀疑,你真的喜欢过我吗?你爱我吗?”张嘉愿满眼失望地看着丹尼斯说道:“你从一开始就瞒着我,现在又跟我说分手,丹尼斯你就是这么喜欢一个人的吗?”

他低头语气哀伤地问丹尼斯,“可是你说分手,我就不会受到伤害了吗?”

丹尼斯话音落下的瞬间,张嘉愿眼眶中蓄满的眼泪大颗大颗地向下滚落。

丹尼斯手足无措道:“嘉愿,你不要哭了,你这样我心里难受。”

“……”

“我真的恨不得拿把刀上街去把他捅死,嘉愿我不想分手的,可是我没办法,我不能连累你。”

丹尼斯眼里有一瞬的挣扎,他低着头避开了张嘉愿的目光。

“我真的是一个特别糟糕的伴侣,我好恨我自己,嘉愿我不想连累你,可是我又不知道该怎么做。”

“你要是真的难受的话,你就不会跟我提分手。”

“……对不起。”

“你不要碰我!”张嘉愿反应很大地用力甩开丹尼斯的手臂。

张嘉愿往后退了一步,不可置信地问丹尼斯:“你说真的?你要跟我分手?”

丹尼斯的沉默让张嘉愿的剧烈跳动的心开始趋于平静,此刻他明明在发高烧,身子开始莫名地发寒,刺骨的寒气钻进骨髓,冻得他身子控制不住的发抖。

有一瞬间张嘉愿怀疑自己的耳朵是不是出错了,因为他听到听到丹尼斯对他说——

。”丹尼斯用力搓了把脸说道:“嘉愿,我真的不知道该怎么跟你说这件事。”

“张嘉愿,要不我们分手吧。”

“德尼亚,是你说了分手,我这辈子都不会理你了。”

“俄罗斯的反同情绪比你想象中还要严重的许多,你会遭遇各种异样的目光,甚至因为你是外国人,可能会遭受霸凌欺辱苛责,嘉愿我无法忍受这种事的发生,我不想让你受到伤害。”

“呼——”张嘉愿猛得从睡梦中惊醒,他下意识地往身侧摸了摸,惊慌失措道:“德尼亚,我刚刚做了噩梦,梦到——”

“我不会原谅你的,”张嘉愿抹了一把眼睛,抽泣着说道:“我不会原谅你的,我不会……”

张嘉愿眨了眨眼,模糊视线的泪水随着他的动作快速向外滑落,他的眼睛只清晰了一瞬,下一秒眼眶中再次充盈着泪水。

69

“比起那些我还没遭受到的伤害,德尼亚,你更让我伤心。”

张嘉愿看着丹尼斯一字一顿地说道:“德尼亚,这句话我只问你一遍,你是真的要跟我分手吗?”

“之前有天晚上我们回来时,因为周围没人在楼梯口那里牵手被他看到了。”

丹尼斯连忙伸手扶着的手臂张嘉愿问道:“嘉愿,你没事吧?”

空气中寂静无声,身侧的床面一片冰凉,张嘉愿不死心地伸手摸了五六遍,慢半拍地应过来他和丹尼斯已经分开。

他们在一起11个月,张嘉愿没等到他们的未来,却先从丹尼斯的口中听到了分手。

张嘉愿今天身子不舒服,早上和中午都没吃饭,发高烧和长久的站立让他眼前一片晕眩,身子不受控制地往前晃了两下。

“他知道我是同性恋,以此威胁我说要举报到学校,这段时间他都在跟踪我,试图找到你,拿你来威胁我。”

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有一瞬间张嘉愿真希望自己是发烧烧糊涂,丹尼斯根本没有回来,也没有跟他提分手,这一切都是梦,等他睡醒了,就会看到丹尼斯躺在他身旁,亲昵地抱着他,在他嘴角落下一吻。

“我不是想瞒着你,”丹尼斯眼眶发红,深吸了一口气说道:“我这几天一直在思考有什么办法能够解决我们现在的处境,我想了五天,嘉愿,我们之间除了分手没有别的办法。”

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