四、皇帝陛下结婚了好日子到来了(2/2)

过了一段时间老公感觉有点不对劲,就问他,咱俩的娃是不是变少了,之前那个巢里不是有几十颗虫卵来着吗怎么只剩几个了?其实一般情况下两个虫族结合可以下几千颗卵,但虫虫滴老公是人类,就没能让他怀上那么多虫虫老婆佯装眼泪汪汪状,说:“不知道哇老公,不会有人把我们的宝贝孩子偷走了吧,怎么会这样,我好伤心好难过啊!??????????”

吃了那一次后他本想对尤嘉说,这些菜不太合自己口味,以后他就不回来吃了哈,还是留在政务大楼和大臣们一起吃特供套餐算了,朴素、节俭,还能和大臣们聊聊天增进君臣关系,历代皇帝,他的父亲、祖母、曾祖父都是吃的政务大楼特供套餐……但尤嘉又微笑着说道:“如果老公你不吃我就拿去分给别人吃啦。”尤嘉说这话时当然是话外什么意思话里就什么意思,老公不吃就拿去给别人吃了,喂喂宫里的小猫小狗,不要浪费嘛。但落在凯撒耳朵里,就是娘家有着恐怖军事力量的老婆用帝国子民甚至猫猫狗狗的生命安全威胁自己回家吃晚饭。

所以,他现在又坐在了餐桌旁,身边坐着他两米六九、头上长着一团触须、几只手分别握着不同的餐具准备服侍他吃晚饭的皇后。

不过再反差萌的异形,做的饭还是异形饭。凯撒吃了尤嘉亲自烹饪的爱心晚餐,差点没呕出来。

脑补一下一个幼年异形穿公主裙跑来跑去的样子,皇宫育儿院里的侍从纷纷要求要么提前下班要么升职加薪了??

当然,在虫虫眼里老公逼事真多,娃是雄是雌很重要吗,他觉得老公给小孩安排的那些乱七八糟的骑马音乐艺术鉴赏文学理论之类的课程严重拖慢了他教娃捕猎格斗把毒针刺到猎物脑子里吸干敌人脑浆等诸如此类实用技能的教学进度……他就天天摆着个臭脸给老公看,老公不明所以问他怎么了,因为之前吃小孩还骗老公所以良心不安的虫虫不忍再打击老公的育儿热情,生着闷气把老公日了一晚上。

虫虫一边给老公下崽一边把老公日得死去活来,第二天老公洗洗屁股……上班去了叮嘱他孕期要注意身体然后走了,虫虫就从床上六肢并用地爬下来走到昨天趁老公睡着用分泌液筑好的虫巢边上老公醒来后看到卧室里多了个黏答答的巢吓了一跳!但上班处理政务要紧也没想太多就走了……,虫虫绿色的复眼冷酷地检查着昨天下的卵,然后挑出里面质量不太及格的病弱卵卵当早餐吃了,只让健康强壮和他一样残忍嗜血的优秀卵卵留在巢里等孵化……就是,每天他都会拿这些虫卵进行比较,一颗颗吃掉只留下最完美的几颗卵,然后再把这几颗优秀虫卵放在一起让它们互斗,杀死其他兄弟姐妹后孵化出最强大的那只??????

凯撒看了满怀期待的老婆一眼,心中一沉……可怜的皇帝陛下,极力压抑着自己双手的颤抖,打开了那本装饰得极其华丽的粉红色菜单。从前帝后寝宫餐室的菜单封面是珀金色,设计上也十分简约,在大厨斗胆揣测着新任皇后饮食爱好换成了星际恐怖片海报一样的黑色封面后,又被尤嘉自己设计成了粉红色,上面还印着一只作期待吃猫粮状的猫猫头。一开始凯撒还觉得老婆有点反差萌,待打开那本粉红色菜单后看到里面的菜名以及注释内的食材及烹饪方法,他内心沉重地感叹道:大厨,还是你的设计比较符合产品定位。

不知为何尤嘉今天让寝宫餐厅的侍从都提前下班了,偌大的餐厅就他们两个。尤嘉特意没穿平时总是穿着的虫族部落黑色战斗服,而是换成了他平素嫌弃累赘的、地球皇后的长袍,那张美丽的拟态脸上依然毫无表情,却是从腹部发出一阵似乎略带笑意的声音:“今天有一道很重要的菜,我不想让别人看着你吃。”

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好吧,其实虫族王室的蜕皮并非毫无作用。它仅有的一个作用,就是催情。

呃……三文鱼刺身?

老公本来很伤心来着但偏远省份最近有点事,他就先去那几颗偏远星球巡视民生去了,老公出差惹,虫虫立刻叫娘家人星际快递寄点已经被破坏假蛋过来再伪装成老公流放在外的政敌针对王室的仇恨事件,他虽然三观异于人类,但通过最近观察老公的情绪变化,他还是渐渐学会了原来人类接受不了吃孩子这种事的……老公回来的时候刚好最后剩下的那颗卵已经被孵化了,王室喜添和它妈一样无比残忍嗜血又恐怖的皇嗣一个,老公得娃很开心,其他娃被政敌暗杀的事的阴霾在他心里淡了一点笑死,其实是被老婆吃掉了……顺便一提因为虫族血统过于强势,所以这个混血儿长得更像虫而不是人,就直接用“它”来指代了……因为它和它妈一样是雌雄同体的,成年后才会选择分化成偏雄性还是偏雌性……老公每天都很纠结要引导娃当男孩还是女孩,在他们国家男女都有皇室继承权,老公就很纠结是小公主好还是小王子好……娃过上了一穿公主裙二四六穿王子裤周日让它放飞自我寻找本性的生活??

眼下,他自然也是咬着牙在看菜单,努力搜寻有没有什么自己这个人类能吃的东西……

大约是知道地球人体质与虫族人不一样,尤嘉对这些食材都进行了无毒化处理,因此他吃了后还能苟活——很难说,吃了这一顿饭,是苟活下来比较幸运,还是就此死了比较幸运。如果不是达芬奇珠玉在前,他一定要请宫廷画师来画下这一幅现代版《最后的晚餐》。

恐异形深柜。

老公感觉哪里有点不对劲,但他也说不上来哪里不对劲,总之就先让皇宫护卫去把卵找回来老公是这个科幻君主立宪制国家的皇帝……其实孩子走丢了,老公真的蛮伤心的,一连好几天食不下咽上班还走神了被内阁上奏说他带薪摸鱼,虫虫看到他那么伤心,不好意思告诉他其实那几个孩子都被自己消化完了……当然,在他眼里那些也不算孩子,只能说是一些活该要死的残次品垃圾,被母亲吃了消化成为母体的养分才是它们的归宿。不及格的卵,就不该让母体浪费体力生育它们,让母体吃了补充点营养就算了嘛……

若非他知道尤嘉真的只是头脑单纯,认为虫族人爱吃的地球人也会爱吃,他脑中大概会浮现出那本经典古典里的一幕,大郎,该吃药了。

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